Which one is faking?
Truth is, sometimes it’s easier to fake it. At times we may even try to disguise that we are faking.
But why is that? And at what cost are we willing fake it?
From an early age we have been conditioned to fake it to ensure we don’t offend others, or to ensure we are perceived as successful. The result is – we offend ourselves.
I know this may ruffle some feathers (pun intended) but the truth is we have all faked it at one time or another, and we can’t fix what we don’t acknowledge. This faking thing, we sometimes do, is a big fat frock.
Why is it, that when we really don’t want to do something we say yes anyway; in spite of the inner turmoil we are facing? There are any number of reasons we may say yes: obligations, sense of responsibility, expectations for others and self. Sometimes we just want to fit in.
During the holidays expectations to be perfect and accommodate others by saying yes increases, and so does the need to don the “fake it till you make it frock”. But no matter what frock the goose dons he is still a goose he will never be a penguin.
Life isn’t perfect and neither are we. Rather we are imperfect beings doing the best we can. BTW that is exactly as it should be; because it is in the imperfectness of who we are that we are in fact perfect. It makes us human, likeable and vulnerable. Somehow it is our flaws that we are most perfect. To others who watch us weather a storm we stand taller and lead with out frocks, costumes or disguises.
Five ways to identify if you are faking.
1. You say yes while shaking your head side to side and the little voice inside your head is screaming abort, abort, abort!
2. You say yes and suddenly you don’t feel well.
3. You say yes while trying to figure out how you can get out of this.
4. You say yes because the thought of saying no is more scary then saying yes.
5. You say yes and then begin to resent the person who asked.
Three ways to STOP
1. When asked to do something simply pause and let the person know you will have to get back to them. Take 24 hours to decide if this is something you can commit too at this time.
2. Ask what else they maybe needing and if something resonates by-all-means say yes. But if not then defer to number one.
3. Regretfully decline. This sounds so simple yet it is not.
Acknowledging a request is not the same as saying yes, it is merely acknowledging the request.
Why not practice Frocking Off; Living Undisguised over the holidays so that 2014 hits you are in the drivers seat.
YOU are worth it.
Break the chain of faking… Stand for what you want.
Canada AM CTV asks Jo Dibblee ...
