Committed or Interested

So my dear, you say you’re committed.

You say you are dedicated and will do whatever it takes and yet, you waiver in the face of adversity or worse you bolt!

Is this harsh? Maybe. Or maybe it’s the truth.

The kind of truth that wakes you at night. Or the kind of truth that fires you up, that makes you mad or brings forth excuses. The kind that everyone would understand because after all, they are significant and real reasons as to why you simply can’t… (you fill in the blank)

My dearest,

You, I, we are not the only ones challenged or tested, hell no!

Life, love, and business are messy, glorious and at times, tragic. Recently my resolve was tested.

Last month we lost a family member, and it was sudden and tragic. It caught each of us off guard and brought many of us to our knees.

I was one of those people. I found myself questioning and crying out WHY? Why now? He was only fifty-nine! Why him? “This is not the time,” I cried. As though there might be a better, more convenient time.

I have known Graig for 38 years; together we have a daughter and son and now two beautiful and adorable grandsons. Although we divorced after only four years of marriage, we remained connected and spent time together. At times it was tough (our egos get in the way) but through it all, he held a place in my heart, as a human being, a man and as the father of my children.

His sudden tragic passing meant having to get present. And I know it is not the norm in our society to stand beside “the ex”, and I have heard people say they are glad their ex is gone. I am grateful that this is not my narrative and never has been.

Watching my children negotiate and navigate this grief is at times, unbearable. Grief catches you when you least expect it, and it hurts.

It is in these moments commitment is tested. Likely no one expected anything from me. After all, I was the ex-wife so I could’ve had a pass.

And although I know this to be inherently true, it never crossed my mind. The second I spoke to my children, I realized I NEEDED to be with them. Not due to obligation or responsibility, but simply to be there. No words were needed; it was evident it was just what needed to be.

I am, and have always, been committed to my children. They truly are the best blessing in my life.

It was all I could do to get to them. When I learned of Graig’s passing, I was on route to speak at a women’s conference. The words landed like a ton of bricks. I sat on the side of the road crying in disbelief. At that moment my commitment to my children was all consuming. And although I felt bad about not being able to fulfill my obligation of speaking, thank goodness she was gracious and understood that my place was with my family. And with help from a woman I adore who took care of everything – thank you Megan Stacey – I boarded a plane and flew to my family the next morning.

Commitment to me is not about what we say, but rather what we do in adversity. Whereas, being interested means when things get tough we walk away, take the pass or make excuses.

Here’s the deal… life, love, and business are messy, glorious and at times, tragic. Your actions determine whether you are committed or interested.

I posted about being committed or interested on Facebook last week, and the dialogue was real and relevant. So I share the above with you to consider if you are in fact, committed or interested in living the life you dream of.