There I was on the stage double checking my presentation materials. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice an older gentleman perhaps in his early seventies enter the venue. He looked as though he might be in distress and I could see from a distance he was emotional. He had his hand to his chest. My first thought was call 911, he is having a heart attack. I know CPR and so I began walking towards him. Before I got to him, he had inquired if someone could point Jo out to him. I was caught off guard when one of the registration ladies pointed in my direction.
Clearly he was not having a heart attack. As he turned toward me our eyes met and his steps became purposeful and directed. With his arms outstretched, tears flowing freely and a loving smile he embraced me. Somehow I knew this was something very big. He stepped back and said words I never expected to hear, “Jo, I’m Susan’s uncle”.
My heart raced and instantly my eyes filled. At first I was at a loss for words. I just stood there trembling, tears streaming down my face as I looked into his kind, gentle blue eyes that bubbled over with tears.
He stepped back to look at me and we just stood there for few moments. He began to tell me he had flown from California and had been up since three in the morning and all he wanted to do was to meet and thank me.
Our tears continued to flow freely. It was as though time stood still and that we were long lost relatives. Our connection was so powerful. This sweet little girl who has been gone since 1979 brought us together. It was abundantly clear Susan has a voice and she lives on.
Here I was standing with Susan’s Uncle. We were stranger to each other and yet there was no awkwardness at all. For so many years I have carried Susan in my heart and wished I could connect with her family. To tell them how Susan’s murder had set me on a path to ensure she always has a voice.
Susan may have been twelve when her life was tragically and horrifically taken, but she was my hero. I had survived my assault – I was alive. I had to stand for Susan to make sure she had a voice. She was my why when I was scared, she was my strength in the bleakest of times. Susan was the driving force for me to write Frock Off:Living Undisguised. 
When I finally spoke, all I could say was “thank you”. It seemed inadequate but what does one say to a big burly kindhearted man who stands before them weeping openly and thanking them? There were no words that could convey the emotion I was feeling. I felt as though we were one in the same, on a path for Susan. I asked him to join us for the presentation and lunch.
Just then the ill-serving Frock of Expectation reared its ugly head. The voice in my head presented all kinds of doubts and questions. Questions like what will he expect from me, will he be disappointed, how will he feel listening to the story? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt this kind, gentle man who had come simply to thank me. Fear of failing him and his expectations bubbled to the surface like hot lava. What would his thoughts be of me when he sees the picture I had of Susan.
Susan is always with me – every presentation, and every conversation I have about the book.
I bring a picture of Susan with me everywhere. I even have a picture of Susan in my wallet. Why? To remind me of my why. I want people to see Susan as once, a vibrant little girl. To me, this ensures she is never anonymous, she was here but a short time and I want people to see her . I began to question whether or not I should hold up Susan picture? Would that be to hard on her Uncle?
But as quickly as the Frock of Expectation had been donned it was removed.
As I stood there I realized Susan was with us both. Susan brought us together. For the first time ever, I was not alone on this journey to give Susan a voice. That moment was so powerful. I went from being fearful of offending, or disappointing to knowing we were in fact celebrating Susan!
The Frocklamation Declaration was in full force . I told that ill-serving frock of expectation to FROCK OFF!
If you have been to any of my live presentations and/or workshops you know we use the Frocklamation Declaration to expose ill-serving frocks/beliefs/attitudes.
After it was all said and done we talked and hugged. I did ask him if I did him proud? He just smiled and with tear filled eyes he hugged and thanked me again. That Frock Of Approval was alive and well. Some frocks take longer to remove than others.
The funny thing was in the past I would have been very uncomfortable with a man hugging me but not this time.
Meeting Susan’s Uncle was a moment I will hold near and dear in my heart forever. At times I felt I journeyed alone … but that day I realized I am not alone.
We truly are never alone. We can make a change that will last forever. We can take this world and make it better! Love this song!
Imagine what would have happened had I not removed that ill-serving Frock of Expectation… What a loss that would have been.
I am so excited because next month I will be in Penticton, BC. I am very fortunate to be in connected with many of Susan’s family members. I can’t wait to stand with them in unity for Susan and every other person whose voice has been silenced. The time is now! For Full details check out this article http://www.kelownadailycourier.ca/local-news/author-with-story-of-child-abuse-to-speak-during-womens-week-21614.html
Received this card only a couple weeks after meeting Susan’s uncle. My heart is overflowing.
Great Expectations not really
We all have expectations of others and ourselves. As we continue to dissect the frocks that restrain, constrain, and leave us accepting status quo, it is imperative we examine Frocks of Expectation.
As funny as this cartoon is, it is poignant.
Comments such as “I had higher expectations of you”, from family, friends, or co-workers can cut to the core.
In short, a simple definition of expectation would be – that someone or oneself ought to do something. If not, something good or bad will happen. In reality it is all speculation and fear driving this attitude or belief. Expectations are like assumptions and you know what they say about assumptions. Best you leave them all behind.
Don’t set yourself up for disappointment, leave your expectations behind. Instead be open and ready, because something amazing may just happen that can change the course of your life… forever.
You are enough, you can be the change in the world. Are you willing?
Are you ready to remove some of your own frocks. Check out our pending workshops in Alberta, in March. Be prepared we will be rolling up our sleeves. Contact us at jodibblee@frock-off.com for further details.
March 4th, 2014. Sherwood Park, Alberta: Detox Your Frocks http://www.frock-off.com/frock-off-events-engagement/?event_id=5
March 20th, 2014. Calgary, Alberta: Detox Your Frocks http://www.frock-off.com/frock-off-events-engagement/?event_id=10
Attention e-book lovers you can now purchase your e-book at http://http://www.frock-off.com/
Just do YOU, don’t confo...
