The biggest reason people don’t tell their stories?
They have no idea what will happen when they do.
And you know what? That reason is all about fear.?Which I know because even as a published author, I’m thirty-one flavors of afraid about sharing the memoir I know it’s time for me to finish already. I’m a virtuoso at letting fear stop me from actually working on it.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that fear is a bad thing, but what if it’s just a thing, one shade in a bright palette of emotions, one that simply requires an action? Karla McLaren offers a brilliant perspective on fear, including these profound nuggets:
- “Fear arises to orient you to change, novelty, or possible physical hazards.”
- The internal question to ask when fear arises: “What action should be taken?”
Hmm. Unless you’ve shared a particular story already, sharing it will certainly mean change and novelty (we’ll leave physical hazards out of this one for now, although those actually silence plenty of stories). In that case, fear is a perfectly normal and respectable response to the thought of revealing your story.
Okay, so let’s say we’ve established that you have such a story but you can’t shake the desire to share it, and that the prospect of doing that gives you the willies. Good job. You’re a wide-awake human with beautifully functional fear.
Now, many people (i.e. sometimes me) often stop right there and use fear as the reason to do absolutely nothing. But actually, that only keeps the fear stuck inside. I don’t know about you, but fear stuck inside me, left to its own devices, will find a way to speak up for itself. Hives. Indigestion. Nightmares.
I think I’ll pass.
Thanks to Karla MacLaren, I know that emotions require responses, from me, in order to flow in a healthy way. Now you do, too.
So, back to you. You have a story to tell. You’re afraid to tell it. What next? Well this is the part where you ask yourself: what action should be taken?
Maybe you write the question, then write down the answer. Maybe you think the question and shake your Magic 8 Ball and see what clear words rise through the murky interior. Maybe you shout the question on a packed subway and crowd-source a response. Whatever.
The answer could be wait, and ask again later. The answer could be, give yourself a year to heal because the events you want to write about just happened last month.
The answer could be, as it is in my case, stop wasting your precious time and write the dang thing.
I know that Jennifer, one of the brave writers I work with, was terrified to write her story, let alone publish it. Still, she wrote and let me edit it. And yet this summer, we stood together with face-bursting smiles at her book launch this summer.
One of Jennifer’s biggest, best fears came true, and guess what? I couldn’t be happier for her.
And if you’re reading this, I know you’re already familiar with another brave writer I work with—one Jo Dibblee, who chose to feel and face her fear, ask herself what to do next, and leapt wildly and beautifully into the unknown with Frock Off: Living Undisguised.
So, inspired by these brave women, should the fear to tell your story arise, here’s my challenge to you, right now: Feel the fear. Ask the question. Take action.
And guess what? You don’t have to take action alone.
In fact, I’d love to celebrate your fears with you in person at Sooke Harbour House on October 17th at the Story Watch Writing Retreat, a Frock-alicious Life Is Calling featured event, and a chance for you to take a bold leap, supported by other leaping and wondrous women.
Join us and unleash your story!
Attention Wild Wondrous Women with a Story You Must Tell:
Are you longing for space and time to…
…get up close and personal with your story?
…step away from daily responsibilities and distractions so you can finally watch, listen, write, and reflect?
…be present to the kind of magic that surfaces when someone else takes the helm for a while, so you can actually relax, refuel, and take in the scenery?
How about doing that…
…for a whole luxurious day,
in an exquisitely beautiful ocean-side house,
with a scrumptious lunch provided,
accompanied by a group of other wild, wondrous women tending to their own stories,
this October on the South West Coast of Vancouver Island?
Rinse and Repeat – Yes y...
